


A Little Broken A Little New

by belllamyblaking



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant up to 2x15, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-16 16:09:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3494627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belllamyblaking/pseuds/belllamyblaking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the aftermath of what happens at mount weather. canon compliant with 2x15 blood must have blood pt. 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They were finally safe. Their friends were finally back in Camp Jaha but Clarke couldn’t celebrate with the rest of them. She still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. No, she knew what was wrong. Lexa had betrayed her. And the crushing realization that she had killed Finn for nothing was enough to bring her to her knees. She had sacrificed the boy she loved for a truce Lexa had thrown away in seconds. She should have seen it coming, but hindsight was 20/20 wasn’t it? She could hear the cheering and the excited chatter coming from outside, but she no matter how happy everybody else was, she couldn’t bring herself to go out there with them.

“Clarke?” a voice came from outside. When the person who belonged to it entered her tent, Clarke saw that it was her mother.

“Yeah?” she sniffed and reached up to wipe at tears she hadn’t realized were even there.

“Everyone is celebrating. They’re looking for you,” Abby had since come to terms with what Clarke did in Tondc. She didn’t agree and she was still angry, but she couldn’t hold it over her daughter’s head forever.

Clarke simply shook her head. “I’m not in the mood,” she told her. Abby hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not she should hug her. When she decided, she only nodded and left the tent.

Octavia had come back with them after they rescued their friends from Mount Weather, but she had gone off again in search of Lincoln. Clarke wondered if she ever told Bellamy about what she did. Bellamy… if there was ever one person she had come to count on the most, it was him. He had come through for her time and time again and all she ever did was let them down. She didn’t deserve them.

“Clarke?” the next voice to come through the tent was much deeper, and instead of putting her on edge, the low vibrato of Bellamy Blake’s voice comforted her.

“Bellamy,” she managed a smile but he knew her well enough to know it wasn’t sincere. Anybody could see it.

“There’s moonshine out there,” he gave her a crooked grin, one that always sent a slight shiver up her spine. “I brought you one.” For the first time since he had come into the tent, Clarke’s gaze left his face and fell to his hands. He was holding two cups and she could only assume there was moonshine in them.

She shook her head. “I’m not really in the mood to celebrate tonight, Bellamy.”

Bellamy frowned and walked toward the table she was standing at. He put the cups down and leaned toward her. “You rescued our people, Clarke. Hell, you rescued _me_. You, of all people should be celebrating right now.”

Clarke knew he had a point, but again, she shook her head. “I can’t.” She could tell him. He would understand. When he made no move to leave her side, she sighed again. “Lexa just threw everything away. Like it was nothing. I killed Finn for _nothing_ ,” her voice cracked and she missed the way Bellamy bristled at the mention of Finn. Instead, he took her face in his hands and bent over until they were eye-level.

“Our people are safe, Clarke. No thanks to Lexa, but they _are_. If you think it would make you feel better, we can launch a full-scale attack on her right now. We might die, but I’m with you.” He couldn’t help but let out a bewildered chuckle at his own words, but they seemed to make Clarke feel better. She nodded and leaned into him, her hands fisting at his shirt as she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. She missed his slight intake of breath and the fact that it took him almost a full minute to hug her back.

~~~~*~~~~

“Clarke!”

With a start, Clarke sat up, disoriented. The yell had come from outside, so she threw her boots on and ran. At the edge of the camp, Bellamy stood with a gun pointed right at someone’s head.

“Lexa?”

She ran over to where they were, putting a hand on Bellamy’s forearm, wordlessly telling him to stand down. He took a step back but kept his hand on his gun and his eyes on Lexa.

“What do you want?” Clarke demanded. The wound Lexa’s betrayal had made was still fresh and hers was the last face she wanted to see.

“I still want you to come to the capital with me, Clarke.” Her dark eyes never left Clarke’s blue ones. She sounded calm, but everything about her body language told Clarke that she was ready for a fight if one started. If Clarke let Bellamy have his way, Lexa would be dead right now.

“Are you kidding me?! I’m not going anywhere with you.” If Clarke tried hard enough, she could still feel Lexa’s lips pressed against her own… She pushed the memory aside as a new anger bubbled over. “You betrayed the truce. You left my people to die. I would rather go to war with the mountain a thousand times over than go anywhere with you.” She hadn’t even realized she’d been moving forward, not until Bellamy’s hand clamped down hard over her shoulder. She was only inches away from Lexa’s face and she could see what the closeness was doing to the commander.

“You would have – “ Lexa began, but Clarke cut her off.

“No, I wouldn’t have! Your people were my priority, too. I wanted _everyone_ out, not just mine!” Bellamy’s fingers tightened and he pulled her back slightly. Lexa’s eyes finally moved. First to Bellamy’s hand and then to his face. There was something in her eyes… jealousy, maybe? She turned back to Clarke.

“I leave in three days. I’ll come back in case you change your mind.”

When she turned to leave, Clarke realized for the first time that there were guards standing just inside the tree line. They could have killed Bellamy just for pulling a gun on Lexa. She knew Lexa had something to do with the fact that they hadn’t, but she was too angry to care.

“You okay?” Bellamy asked, his hand finally dropped from her shoulder.

With heavy, uneven breaths, Clarke shook her head and turned to walk back to camp. Bellamy grabbed her hand and forced her to turn around to look at him.

“Let me go,” she snapped.

“I can’t,” he said. His voice sounded almost pained and he wondered if she caught the double meaning in his words. “Clarke, just talk to me.”

“I can’t,” Clarke snatched her hand away, echoing his words. There was no double meaning when she said them.

~~~~*~~~~

_“Thanks, Princess.”_

Finn’s words echoed so clearly in Clarke’s mind. She jerked herself out of the dream with a sob and Finn’s name on her lips. She thought she had let him go, but Lexa’s betrayal had brought on a whole new level of guilt and pain. There was no way she’d be able to get back to sleep now. She crawled out of the bed and wrapped her blanket around herself, bracing against the cold night as she walked outside. She hadn’t meant to go to Bellamy’s tent, but she found herself standing in front of it, listening to see if he was awake or not.

“Clarke?” his voice worked its way under her skin and warmed her from the inside out. “You okay?”

“Where were you?” she asked, looking up at him as he came up behind her.

“With Monty and Jasper.” He didn’t offer any explanation and she didn’t ask for one. “What do you need?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” Against the light from the campfire, Bellamy could see the redness in her eyes. He could tell she’d been crying. So he didn’t ask. He only nodded, and with a hand on her back, he led her into his tent.

Clarke sat at the end of the bed and pulled the blanket around her tighter. She wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing there, but if there was anybody that could keep the nightmares away, it was Bellamy.

“Try to get some sleep, Clarke,” Bellamy said quietly, sitting on the floor. He sat close enough that she could see where he was, but far enough away that she couldn’t see his face. He didn’t want her to know what this was doing to him. Seeing her in his bed. He’d keep that to himself. With a sigh, Clarke moved to lay down, her eyelids feeling heavy as her head hit the pillow. _It smells like him_ , she thought, as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

~~~~*~~~~

“Clarke, it’s Lexa. She’s back.”

Clarke had been in the med tent with Abby, helping a kid who broke his leg trying to climb a tree when Miller’s dad came in with the news.

“Tell her to go away,” Clarke snapped.

“Bellamy already tried that,” he replied, an amused grin on his face. “It didn’t work out too well.”

It made Clarke’s lips curve into a smile as she washed her hands and headed outside. Lexa was with two guards this time, one with a spear trained at Bellamy’s chest.

“I already told you, I’m not going anywhere with you,” Clarke said, expertly maneuvering her way between the spear and Bellamy. She could have sworn she saw Lexa’s resolve waver, but it only lasted a moment.

“I was hoping you had changed your mind,” Lexa said.

Clarke actually laughed and Bellamy was the only one who noticed when Lexa’s gaze fell to Clarke’s lips. Lexa muttered a command in grounder speak and the guards fell back into the tree line. She gave Clarke a look, almost expecting her to do the same with Bellamy, but she didn’t. So she took a deep breath and kept her gaze locked on Clarke’s.

“My people were always going to come first, Clarke. Just as yours were for you. If you were given the choice-“ again, Clarke cut her off.

“I would have _never_ done what you did,” she snapped angrily.

“Yes, you would have,” Lexa snapped back, making Clarke take a step back into Bellamy. His hand brushed at her waist, holding her steady. “I didn’t come here to argue with you. I’m leaving for the capitol tonight and I want you to come with me.” Clarke sighed deeply.

“No. My people need me. You need to go.” With a curt nod, Lexa turned to leave.

It was the second to last time Clarke would ever see her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank sheriffhood @ tumblr for reading it and checking for missing words and weird sentence structuring.


	2. Chapter 2

“The Commander has requested your presence in the capitol.”

The representative Lexa had sent to Camp Jaha had shown up early in the morning, just after sunrise. Clarke refused to see him, but he refused to leave. So after making him wait for almost an hour, she finally greeted him at the gate. When he had given her the request, Clarke wanted to laugh.

“You’re kidding me, right? I already told her no.” Lexa had some nerve sending someone down here like this!

“She says it is urgent.” Apparently, Lexa had told him Clarke was stubborn because it didn’t look like he planned on going anywhere anytime soon. 

“And what is _it_ exactly?” Clarke demanded. She wasn’t going to say yes, but she was a little curious. She’s always been a little too curious for her own good.

“The commander says it is a matter of life and death and she does not believe Clarke of the Sky People will ignore her request.” Damn her! She knew saying something like that would be enough to peak her interest. Clarke was too curious and too willing to help people. It didn’t matter who they were. Whether they were the 100, grounders or people from the Ark.

“Give me an hour. I’ll be ready.” She made her way back to her tent, already trying to imagine what everybody would say. They’d all try to stop her from leaving, but she was too stubborn. Once she had decided she was going, nothing was going to make her change her mind. 

Raven was the first person she saw and she cringed. She knew Raven’s anger would be just as bad as, if not worse than, Bellamy’s. 

“Hey Clarke,” she greeted her with a smile and Clarke’s stomach twisted uncomfortably. She looked good, though, despite what happened to her inside the mountain.

“How are you feeling?” Clarke asked, her eyes searching Raven for any sign of discomfort or pain. Raven noticed and waved a hand in dismissal. 

“I’m just fine. Just got back from seeing Abby, actually. What’s going on over there?” She asked, nodding over to where Lexa’s man stood, just outside the gate. Clarke took a deep breath.

“He’s taking me to see Lexa in the capitol.” Raven’s eyes widened and her brow furrowed. Clarke could almost feel the heat radiate off of her. She threw her hands up in hopes of trying to calm Raven down a little. “Look, she said it was a matter of life and death. I can’t just…”

“Yes, you can! Are you out of your mind, Clarke?! She left us to _die_ and now you’re going off to see her?!” Clarke took advantage of the moment Raven took to catch her breath. Probably gearing herself up to yell at her some more.

“Raven, I know what she did. I trusted her, too.”

“There is no _too_ , Clarke! We trusted _you_!” 

The yelling had caught the attention of just about everybody inside the camp, including Bellamy, who looked a little amused. 

“What’s going on?” he asked, crossing his arms loosely over his chest.

“Ask her,” Raven snapped, and walked away, too angry to even look at Clarke. With a cocked eyebrow, Bellamy turned his gaze to Clarke.

“What happened?” he looked a little more concerned now. Clarke knew she’d never be able to keep it from him. Even if she managed to leave without him knowing about it, Raven, or any of the onlookers who had overheard what the fight was about would tell him. 

“I’m going to the capitol at Lexa’s request.” She braced herself for his anger, but it never came. He just stared at her, waiting for her to continue. “Um, she said it was urgent. A matter of life and death. I can’t just not go.” Bellamy nodded, looking so calm that Clarke might have believed he actually was, if she couldn’t see his hands fisting until the knuckles turned white. She took a hesitant step toward him. “Bellamy…”

“You’re not going,” he said in a tone that oddly made her want to stomp her foot on the ground in protest. 

“The hell I’m not!” Bellamy had a terrible habit of making her feel like a child sometimes. There were other times, when he’d simply look at her and she definitely _didn’t_ feel like a child, the complete opposite in fact, but right now, she’d be surprised if she didn’t throw something akin to a temper tantrum.

“You’re crazy if you think I’m letting you go anywhere near her,” Bellamy said, his arms releasing from his chest, but his hands still fisted into balls. Clarke had to be losing her mind. That was the only explanation Bellamy had for this sudden desire to be anywhere near Lexa. 

“You can’t stop me,” she said defiantly. The look in his eyes sent shivers down her spine. He reached for her waist before throwing her over his shoulder. She shrieked in protest. “Bellamy Blake, you put me down right now!” The people who had already come out to watch her and Raven were now snickering to themselves as they watched Bellamy carry Clarke back to his tent. When he finally set her down, she looked so offended that he thought she might actually slap him. 

“C’mon Clarke, did you really think any of us were gonna let you go? This is ridiculous.” He didn’t like the idea of her heading out into the middle of nowhere to see Lexa. He didn’t care what her reasoning was. 

What Clarke thought was ridiculous was that any of them thought they had any control over her whatsoever. “What are you gonna do, Bellamy? Tie me to a tree so I can’t go anywhere?” He looked like he was actually contemplating the idea but before she could open her mouth to take back what she said, Bellamy was shaking his head. 

“If you _have_ to go, then I’m coming with you,” he nodded as if he was agreeing to go with her. Like _she_ had asked _him_ to go. She snorted.

“Someone has to stay here. The others listen to you,” she reasoned. He knew she was right. The others didn’t respond well when the adults from the Ark tried to give them orders. But if Clarke or Bellamy did, they had no problem doing whatever was asked of them. This was why Bellamy needed to stay, so he could delegate between the rest of the 100 and the adults. 

“Your mom is here, Monty and Jasper…” he started, but Clarke was shaking her head.

“No. I’m going by myself, that’s it.” she pushed her way out of his tent but she hadn’t missed the sound of something hitting the floor violently. She imagined he must have thrown something down for it to sound like that. 

“Clarke!” She shivered when she heard him shout her name but she was determined not to stop. She was almost to the entrance of her tent when a hand whipped her around and she collided with a solid form.

“Bellamy, what-“

He interrupted her words by grabbing her face and crushing his lips against hers. It was hard and needy and everything he didn’t know how to put into words. Clarke stood frozen against him, not responding to his touch. He pulled his lips away and pressed his forehead against hers. His breathing was uneven and he thought hers was too, but he couldn’t be sure. “Just make sure you come back in one piece, okay, Princess?” He brushed his lips against hers softly, once, twice, but she was still too shocked to do anything about it. And then he was gone. 

Clarke got her things together in a hurry before heading out to meet Lexa’s man. He didn’t say anything when she reached him. Instead he started walking and expected Clarke to fall in line behind him, so that’s what she did.

~~~~*~~~~

It took five days and four nights to reach the capitol, and each of those nights, Clarke dreamt about the kiss Bellamy had forced on her before she left. She wished she had kissed him back. She wished she had been courageous enough to do so. In her dreams, she kissed him back. She would kiss him when she got back, she decided. _If_ she got back. 

The capitol was overwhelming. Grounders _everywhere_ and not all of them were as welcoming as Lexa’s people. Not welcoming… That wasn’t the right word. They didn’t look like they wanted to kill her _as much_ as the others. Lexa was in her tent, going over battle plans when Clarke was escorted in. 

“Leave us,” Lexa ordered. The guards left and it was just her and Clarke now. Clarke remembered one of the last times they were alone in a tent together. Lexa had kissed her and Clarke had kissed her back, but every time Clarke remembered the kiss, she also remembered Lexa’s betrayal. 

“What am I doing here?” Clarke asked, sounding a little bored. She was pleased that her voice sounded so indifferent. She didn’t want Lexa to know what kind of affect she had on her. 

“You told me once that I changed your view on grounders,” Lexa started, and suddenly Clarke knew the matter of life and death thing was a lie just to get her to come out there. She could almost hear Bellamy sigh in anger in her head. 

“You said it was a matter of life and death,” Clarke glared at her.

“I knew you wouldn’t come any other way.” Clarke hated that Lexa knew that about her. She reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose between her fingers and heaved a heavy sigh. Lexa took a step forward. “You have to understand, Clarke. I have to live with what I did, and I’m sorry, but my people have always been most important to me. If I had made my decision using my heart, the way you would have, many people would have died.” Clarke looked up at her and she knew Lexa was right. She was right, but Clarke wouldn’t have made the same choice.

“I killed Finn for that truce, Lexa. And you treated it like it was nothing.” Lexa scoffed at her and turned away from her.

“He was going to die, anyway, Clarke. He killed 18 _innocent, unarmed_ people. He needed to answer for his crimes. You showed him mercy where we wouldn’t have.”

Clarke remembered watching Gustus when he was sentenced to death, seeing all those people cut him before Lexa finally killed him. That would have happened to Finn if she hadn’t killed him before it happened. The pain hit Clarke so hard that the air rushed out of her lungs and she found herself gripping the edge of the table and trying to catch her breath. Lexa turned toward Clarke again and it took all of her strength to keep from going to her to make sure she was okay. When Clarke finally got ahold of herself, she took a deep breath and looked up at Lexa. 

“If that was all you brought me here for, then I’m leaving.” She didn’t want to be here anymore. She didn’t want to look at Lexa anymore. She needed to be back at Camp Jaha. Lexa finally took a step toward Clarke, and then another and another until they were standing only inches apart. “What are you doing?” Clarke asked, her voice shaky and unsure. 

“Tell me to stop,” Lexa challenged, one of her hands already on the back of Clarke’s neck. She didn’t pull at her this time, not like before, but Clarke couldn’t find her voice to tell her not to. When she didn’t say anything, Lexa leaned in and pressed their lips together. Something inside Clarke snapped and she found herself kissing Lexa back with an intensity she didn’t even know existed within her.


	3. Chapter 3

“It’s been almost a week, we _have_ to send someone to look for her.” Without Clarke, Bellamy was sure the camp was gonna go up in flames. He was doing his best to keep everything under control, but he was doing a terrible job of it so far. Raven, as pissed as she was that Clarke had gone in the first place, voiced her concerns about how long Clarke had already been gone.

“I know how long she’s been gone, Raven. But we don’t even know where to look.” He wanted to be out there right now, looking for her, but it had rained two days after Clarke left, erasing any tracks they might have made when they left. It would be impossible to go after them now. They’d probably die before they got anywhere near the capitol. Why hadn’t he sent someone with her? Damn it. Raven slammed a fist against the table.

“She could be dead for all we know!” There were a lot of things Raven could be angry at Clarke for, but she was a good leader and she had always been a good friend. The truth was, Raven just wanted her back. 

“You don’t think I know that?!” From the moment Clarke left, it was all Bellamy could think about. He didn’t show it in front of the others, but sometimes the fear of finding out Clarke was dead paralyzed him. But then he thought, how would they even find out? He doubted Lexa would send somebody to tell them. What if Clarke didn’t even reach Lexa? She could be anywhere… 

~~~~*~~~~

“Commander, she’s here.” The tent flap opened and along with two of Lexa’s guards, a woman walked in. The woman’s appearance was so surprising that Clarke had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. She looked so intense, scarier than Indra, Anya, and Lexa combined. Her hair had white paint in it, and pulled back at the top. The rest of it cascaded over her shoulders like a lion’s mane. She had paint on her face, and an intensity to her eyes that honestly terrified Clarke. She towered over Lexa and Clarke when they stood, and Clarke immediately took a step back. 

“Valkyrie,” Lexa greeted. Valkyrie looked bored as she looked Lexa up and down, her hand tightening around the spear she carried with her. She spoke in harsh tones, in grounder speak so Clarke couldn’t understand what she was saying, but her gaze kept flickering over to her so she knew she was talking about her at the very least. If Lexa was intimidated, she didn’t show it. Instead, she drew back her shoulders, looking like she was confident enough to take down this beast of a woman if she had to. 

“Clarke belongs to the Sky People,” she said in English, which surprised Clarke, but she was grateful she could at least understand her. “We have… _had_ a truce,” she corrected herself. Valkyrie turned the full force of her gaze on Clarke and she almost squeaked in terror. 

“You came from the sky?” she demanded, sounding… amused? Clarke nodded. “You have no place here, sky person. Send her away.”

Clarke thought Lexa might do it, but instead she shook her head. “No, she’s here because I asked her to be here. _I_ asked _you_ to come here, you should remember that.” For a second, Clarke thought Valkyrie might attack her, but she nodded. “You’re here because the Meadow Clan needs to be neutralized.”

Clarke had never heard any of the grounders talk about other clans. She knew they existed, of course, but she hadn’t seen them, let alone heard about them. Valkyrie twisted her head to the side and Clarke heard her neck crack. She’d have to remember her face, so she could draw her when she got back to camp. _If_ she got back to camp. 

“You want me to do something about it?” Valkyrie asked, sounding almost offended Lexa would ask her such a thing.

“I want you to take care of the problem,” Lexa replied. Apparently what she said had a double meaning because a look passed over Valkyrie’s face that made Clarke quake. She said something in grounder speak, nodded, and left the tent. Lexa’s guards followed her out. As she soon as she was gone, Clarke felt like she could breathe again.

“She’s terrifying,” she said quietly. Lexa looked over at her and her gaze softened. 

“She’s the leader of the Tree Clan. She’s a good warrior.” Lexa liked her, Clarke could tell. There was a respect there.

“What did the Meadow Clan do?” Clarke asked. She couldn’t help her curious nature and the question made Lexa’s lip twitch in what almost passed for a smile. She motioned for Clarke to sit down and followed suit when she did so.

“They are rebelling. They hunt other clans for sport, and they eat them.” Clarke gasped.

“They’re _cannibals_?” Lexa nodded, her face grim. 

“We have to neutralize the problem, before they attack any more people.” Clarke suddenly knew what that meant.

“She’s going to kill them.” Again, Lexa nodded.

“It’s the only way.” 

Clarke didn’t want to think about it. She turned away from Lexa, picking at a stray fiber in her pants. She wanted to go home, but there was some kind of feast tonight and she had already told Lexa she could go. She would leave in the morning.

~~~~*~~~~

Bellamy found himself standing out of Clarke’s empty tent. He wasn’t sure what he was doing there. Maybe he missed her. He heard voices and left quickly, before anybody could see him there. Monty and Jasper came around the corner just as Bellamy did and the three of them nearly collided into each other.

“Bellamy!” Monty’s voice slurred a little bit and Bellamy could smell the moonshine. He shook his head.

“Are you two drunk _again_?” he demanded.

“I think you mean _still_ ,” Jasper snorted. He and Monty dissolved into a fit of laughter and Bellamy’s nose flared. “You could use a little bit of this, Bell. You look tense.” 

“You’re gonna get end up hurting yourselves and Clarke isn’t here to patch you back up,” Bellamy said disapprovingly. Monty gave him an exaggerated pout. 

“We’re _fine_. Besides, her mom is here and she’s a _doctor_.” He gave Bellamy’s shoulder a light punch, well, light to Bellamy. Monty wasn’t that strong. He and Jasper took off, laughing about something else and Bellamy sighed. 

“Damn it, Clarke, where are you?”

~~~~*~~~~

The celebration was really just a huge fire and lots of food. Clarke couldn’t deny that she was having a _little_ bit of fun. She liked watching Lexa with the others. They respected her, moved out of the way she walked through the crowd. They offered her their food and drinks. They loved her. Clarke could see why. She was a good leader. The choices she made were all at the benefit of her own people. Clarke’s people were collateral damage and she wasn’t sure she could keep being angry at her for that. 

“Eat,” Lexa said, bringing Clarke some food. Clarke took it from her and shifted on the log she was sitting on for Lexa to sit beside her. Lexa hesitated for a moment before joining her. Clarke pulled her lip through her teeth before turning slightly to face Lexa. 

“I have to go back tomorrow,” she said. Lexa nodded, staring at the fire.

“I know. I’ll have Pax take you back to your camp.” Pax was the grounder who had come to Camp Jaha. Clarke didn’t learn his name until after they showed up in the capitol. He didn’t speak to her the entire journey, except to wake her up when it was time to start moving again.

“He doesn’t talk much,” Clarke said, taking a bit of the bit of meat Lexa brought to her. Surprisingly, it was really good.

“He doesn’t speak much of your language. He chooses not to learn.” Clarke nodded, and continued to eat. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until now. She had only met a handful of grounders who didn’t know any English, but it didn’t surprise her. She was starting to pick up on a few things and learned a couple words during the time she had gotten to know the grounders. 

“Lexa, I –“ Lexa cut her off.

“Come with me,” she said suddenly, grabbing Clarke’s hand. She took her back to her tent, away from prying eyes. Once they were inside, Lexa’s lips were on hers, surprising Clarke. She definitely wasn’t expecting this. 

Clarke gasped when Lexa pushed her against the table, her hands pinned behind her. “Lexa,” she breathed, when their lips parted for air. “What are you doing?” She didn’t push her away, though. 

“Tell me to stop,” Lexa whispered, her lips brushing against Clarke’s ear. Clarke shivered. When Lexa had kissed her earlier, it was just a kiss. This felt like so much more and Clarke was surprised to realize that she wanted it. 

“I can’t,” Clarke whispered back, bringing Lexa in to kiss her again. Lexa’s hands tangled in Clarke’s hair, pulling slightly, eliciting a response that sent shivers up her spine. She did it again and was rewarded with a breathy moan. Clarke could feel Lexa’s lip curve into a smirk against her mouth. The sounds of the celebration just outside the tent turned into shouting but the two women were we too lost in each other to notice. Lexa’s hand slid down Clarke’s side until she reached her thigh. She pressed her hand against her through her pants, making Clarke gasp. She was ready to return the favor when someone shouted.

“Commander!”

They jumped away from each other just in time, because Pax and three other guards ran in seconds later. They were breathing heavily, and one of them was covered in blood.

“What happened?” Lexa demanded, her entire demeanor changing. She went from seductress to commander in seconds flat and Clarke was equal parts impressed and turned on. They followed the guards outside as they explained what happened. Valkyrie had returned with the Meadow Clan behind her and they attacked the capitol. “They have come looking for war, then.” Lexa barked out commands, getting the troops ready to fight. 

A spear whizzed by Clarke’s head, making her jump. She was lucky it missed her, because a fraction to the right, and she’d be impaled. Someone else wasn’t so lucky. Clarke could hear gasping behind her and she turned to see Lexa on the ground. The spear that so narrowly missed her was impaled in Lexa’s chest. “Lexa!” She dropped to her knees, beside Lexa, her hands shaking as she tried to figure out what to do. If she removed the spear, Lexa could bleed out. Either way, she was certain the commander would die. “I don’t know what to do, I’m sorry,” there were tears in Clarke’s eyes. Pax ran to them, speaking to Lexa, leaning in to hear what Lexa was struggling to say. “She shouldn’t be talking,” Clarke pushed at Pax to get away, but he shoved her. 

“Clarke,” Lexa said weakly. Clarke leaned in, shaking her head.

“You’re gonna be okay, I’m gonna help you,” Clarke told her. She didn’t know how, but she was going to. Lexa put a hand over Clarke’s.

“Pax will take you back to your camp. This is not your fight.” Clarke was crying now, looking around, for anything that could possibly help her. “Clarke.” She turned her attention back to Lexa, who was now struggling to breathe. “May we meet again.” Lexa’s eyes closed and Clarke watched as the life slipped out of her. She couldn’t even remember being pulled away from her, but the last thing she saw before she blacked out was Lexa’s lifeless body in front of the tent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments would be appreciated. of course you don't have to! hope you liked it.


	4. Chapter 4

When Clarke woke up, it was still dark, but she was somewhere in the woods. There was a small fire crackling to her left and she could see someone on the other side of it.

“Pax?” her throat was dry and her head hurt. He handed her a flask and she took it, even though she knew it wasn’t water. The liquid burned as it went down but she welcomed the feeling. “Thanks,” she coughed, handing the flask back. She remember what Lexa said about him not knowing a lot of English so Clarke didn’t try to make any small talk. She sat up, exhausted, but unwilling to fall back asleep. Pax handed her some meat he had cooked over the fire but she wasn’t hungry.

“Eat,” he ordered. She was surprised when the word came out, but Lexa said he didn’t know _much_ English, not _any_. She shook her head but he pushed it at her. With a sigh, she took it from him but didn’t eat it. “Eat,” he said again, his voice rough. 

Clarke ate slowly, staring into the fire. She couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened. After all that, after everything, it was a spear that took Lexa down. She wanted to know how long it had been since then, but she wasn’t sure if Pax would understand her or even be able to answer. She remembered Lexa once telling her that her soul would choose the new commander and she wondered who it would be. Maybe Indra. _She would make a good leader,_ Clarke thought. She didn’t like her much, but she put the clan’s needs ahead of her own. She was a good warrior, too. It was a quality Lexa looked for in other people. 

A few hours later, the sun started to rise and Pax put out the fire. Clarke followed him wordlessly through the woods until it got dark again and they repeated the process for the next three nights. On the fourth morning, just after sunrise, she finally saw Camp Jaha through the trees and felt an overwhelming urge to cry. She started walking again but realized Pax wasn’t behind her. When she turned, he was already walking back. “Wait!” She ran after him and he didn’t stop until she was standing in front of him. “Aren’t you tired? Do you want to rest first? We could get you something to eat. Drink.” She didn’t under if he understood, but he shook his head at her. 

“I must go back,” he told her. She opened her mouth to protest but he pushed her aside and started walking again. He had a duty to his people and during the few days they spent together, though they were in silence, she knew how hard it must have been to leave right after seeing his commander killed. So she didn't stop him.

~~~~*~~~~

Bellamy put together a search team. It had been too long since Clarke was gone and he wasn’t about to let her stay out there another minute. He didn’t care if he had to scour the entire woods to find her. Monty and Jasper volunteered to go, as did a handful of other people, including some of the adults. Abby must have asked them to go, because Bellamy was pretty sure they wouldn’t have offered otherwise. 

“When we do leave?” Jasper asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Bellamy didn’t approve of how excited he seemed to be, but at least he was willing to go. Raven wanted to go, too, but Bellamy needed her to stay just in case Clarke happened to come back while the rest of them were out looking for her. 

“In the morning,” Bellamy told Jasper. He was putting together a pack with water and food while the rest of the search party went off to get their own things ready. The sun would be up in a few hours and Bellamy hadn’t slept in days. He wouldn’t sleep again until Clarke was back inside the camp. He paced around his tent, unable to even sit down and rest for a few minutes. In a few hours, they’d be out looking for Clarke and it gave him a little peace of mind. Not much, but enough. 

Bellamy could see light seeping in through the opening in the tent but he made no move to leave. Just a few more minutes, and then he’d be ready.

“Bellamy!” He heard Raven’s voice call for him from outside and he walked out. When he saw her, she was grinning from ear to ear and his lips turned down in confusion. What the hell did she have to be so happy about? He turned to where she was looking and saw a familiar head of blonde hair running toward the gates of the camp. As people came out of their tents, he heard the excited chatter and the shouting began. _”Clarke! Clarke is back!”_ He ran for the gate as the guards there hurried to open it. As soon as she was close enough, his arms were around her like a vice, holding her to him tightly. After a few moments, she wiggled a bit, trying to pull away, so he let her go. 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you realize how long you were gone? We were about to go looking for you.” He was talking too fast but he couldn’t help himself. He knew he was worried, but shit, he hadn’t realized just _how_ worried until she was actually here standing in front of him. Clarke shook her head. 

“I’m fine, Bellamy. It just took a long time to get there, I was only there for a day, if that.” She took a deep breath and because she really needed it, hugged him again. “Sorry,” she murmured, her voice muffled against his shirt. He laughed, probably for the first time since before she left, and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

“You’re back now, Princess.” He said, squeezing her one last time before the rest of their friends swarmed around them. 

Bellamy took a step back and let everybody else greet Clarke. He was happy to watch, but something was wrong. She was happy to see everybody, that much was apparent, but he could just _tell_ something else was up. When she was finally free from the mob, Bellamy followed her to her tent.

“Can we do this later, Bellamy? I’m really tired.” Bellamy almost agreed, but decided against it.

“No. Tell me what’s wrong. And before you tell me there's nothing, I know there is. So you might as well just spit it out.” She hesitated and he sighed. “Hey, it’s just me,” he said, softer than before. Clarke sat on the bed and sighed deeply. She told him what happened when she got to the capitol but left out the very intimate encounter she and Lexa had. When she told him how Lexa had died, he sat down heavily on the bed next to her. “Damn. You think they’ll come here?” He asked. From what Clarke told him, it didn’t seem like this Valkyrie person would waste her time, but then again, maybe she would. Maybe she would want to get rid of any loose ends, and Clarke was a loose end.

“I don’t know. Maybe? She didn’t like that I was there in the first place.” Clarke needed to talk to her mother, tell her what happened. But what could they do? It wasn’t like they could pack up the entire camp and just leave. And if they did, where would they go? The grounders knew the woods better than they did, and she was sure they’d be able to find them anywhere. 

“We’ll fight if we have to, Clarke,” he assured her. With a nod, Clarke laid back on the bed and Bellamy took that as his cue to leave. She grabbed the edge of his jacket, stopping him before he got too far. 

“Can you stay? Just until I fall asleep?” It probably wasn’t the best idea, but he nodded and pulled his jacket off. He got into the bed beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. They stayed like that for a while, neither of them speaking, and it took Clarke a long time to actually fall asleep. When she did, Bellamy didn’t leave. Instead, he let himself fall asleep, too.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke had been back at camp for three weeks and things were slowly starting to resemble a functioning society. She worked in med tent with her mom and Bellamy worked with the guard, setting up schedules for guard duty and training others who wanted to help. There was no news about Valkyrie or what was happening with the grounders, which worried Clarke. Bellamy told her that no news meant good news, but she still worried.

Since Clarke had been back, she hadn’t seen much of Bellamy. He wouldn’t even be alone with her for more than a few minutes, if that. At first, she tried not to read into it. He was just giving her some space, but the longer it went on, the more suspicious Clarke became. She cornered him outside of his tent one evening, decided she was going to get to the bottom of this.

“What’s going on with you?” Clarke demanded. Bellamy looked confused.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shrugged.

“The hell you don’t,” she snapped. Bellamy rolled his eyes and tried to push past her but she grabbed his arm. “Bellamy, please. What’s wrong?”

Bellamy sighed and ran a hand through his hair. When he did so, Clarke’s fingers itched to do the same. “Look Clarke, I was just trying to give you some space.”

“It’s been three weeks,” she said in a pleading tone.

“And you still need space,” Bellamy said matter-of-factly. “The entire camp can hear you at night, Clarke. You have nightmares.”

Clarke didn’t know that she’d been crying in her sleep. “Finn?” she asked.

Bellamy nodded. “And Lexa.” His eyes grew dark in jealousy as he said her name. 

Clarke frowned but before she could get another word out, Bellamy nearly shoved her aside. “I have to go. I have to relieve Miller from his shift at the gate.” Clarke watched him go, frowning. She felt a nervous tug in her stomach at the thought of what she could possibly be dreaming about that had to do with Lexa. 

That night, Jasper made his world famous moonshine again and the kids were in full form. Dancing to music that was playing from an old radio Raven managed to fix, and playing all kinds of drinking games. Clarke didn’t join in, despite the many attempts from Monty and Jasper, and Bellamy watched on like a disappointed parent. He stood watch, talking to Miller’s dad about the potential threat from the grounders and trying to decide what the best course of action would be if it ever happened. 

“Someone’s approaching the gate!” Someone shouted, getting everybody’s attention. Bellamy grabbed his gun and ran for the gate with Clarke in tow. 

“Bellamy!” It was Octavia, followed closely by Lincoln. 

“O?!” Bellamy dropped his gun and wrapped his sister up in his arms tightly. She had been gone for weeks and Bellamy had begun to worry that she died. When she pulled out of his grip, he turned his attention to Lincoln. He shook his hand and pulled him in for a very brotherly hug. “It’s good to see you,” he said, a smile on his face. It was the first genuine smile that Clarke had seen since she came back from the capitol. It made her sad, so she turned and started walking back to camp. Octavia stopped her.

“Clarke, you’re not even gonna welcome us back?” She sounded amused and when Clarke turned to look at her, she smirked at her. What happened to being pissed off about what happened in Tondc? It didn't matter. Clarke went to hug her and surprised everybody by hugging Lincoln, too. 

“Welcome back,” Clarke smiled at them both. “I have to go, though. I have someone waiting for me in the med tent.” It was a lie, but only obvious to Bellamy. He didn't call her on it. 

The drinking turned into a full blown celebration for Octavia and Lincoln’s return, and even Bellamy was having a good time. Clarke stayed in her tent, alone, for the most part. Jasper and Monty tried to get her to come with them a few times but she turned them down, saying she wasn’t feeling well. Once they were gone, she made her way to the med tent to do some inventory. Her mother was nowhere to be seen but she imagined she was off somewhere with Kane. Abby denied any involvement with him outside of pure professionalism, but sometimes they looked at each other a little too long to be friends. 

She discovered they were out of a plant they needed for a poultice and Clarke picked up a book she’d been using to track all the plants they collected. She found the book in an old bunker and the words were so faded that she started sketching the plants and listing out their uses in the pages. She would have to go get some, it was one they used the most and it wouldn’t do them any good to wait around. She picked up a pack and put some supplies in it before heading back out to her tent.

“Where are you going?” The voice belonged to Bellamy and his words were slurred. It was the first time Clarke had ever seen him drunk before, and she bit her lip to hide a smile.

“To my tent,” she said innocently. He narrowed his eyes at her.

“Then uh, what’s the pack for? Hmm?” He poked a finger into the strap on her shoulder and raised a brow at her.

“Just preparing. We’re out of an herb in the med tent and I have to go get some,” she told him.

“What? Right now? I don’t think so. It’s dark, do you-“ 

“No, I’m not an idiot, Bellamy. In the morning,” she snapped. She wanted to roll her eyes at him. What had she done that had suddenly make him think she would make a decision so stupid? Then she remembered what he said about her nightmares and she swallowed hard. 

“I’m going with you,” he said, nodding. Clarke _did_ roll her eyes, then.

“I can take Miller with me,” she said, starting to brush past him.

“I said I’m going, _Princess_.” The way he said it made her take a step back from him. It wasn’t like the last couple times he said it. This time it was more like an insult and tears stung behind her eyes. She was grateful it was dark enough that he couldn’t see.

“Well I don’t want you to,” she said simply, and shoved him as hard as she could. Because he was drunk, he stumbled and she managed to get inside her tent. It was too bad the tents didn’t have doors that locked because a couple seconds later, Bellamy stomped it.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he demanded.

“ _Me_?! What the hell is wrong with _you_?!” she shouted. She dropped the pack on the floor and glared at him. “First, you _kiss_ me and now you’re acting like I’m some sort of leper! We don’t work well if we can’t talk to each other!”

Bellamy swayed a bit but he got his balance back and he took a step toward Clarke. “You want me to talk? Fine, I’ll talk. You’ve been having nightmares about Finn, a guy you were _in love_ with. And then you started having them about Lexa. Some of them weren’t even _nightmares_. I don’t know what happened in the capitol, but I don’t even have to ask.” The expression on his face was a mix between intense jealousy and intense sadness. Clarke wasn’t sure which one she preferred. “I kissed you, Clarke, because I wanted to. Because I thought…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “But it doesn’t matter now.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed and she huffed. “Thought what?” she demanded, in a tone harsher than she meant.

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter,” Bellamy brought a hand to the back of his neck and sighed. 

“It does to me,” she said softly. So soft Bellamy might have missed it if he hadn’t been looking at her.

“I thought that _we_ could have… had something,” his cheeks flushed slightly and Clarke realized he was embarrassed about admitting this to her. Her gaze softened.

“I wanted that, too, Bellamy,” she told him. “The entire trip to the capitol, that kiss was all I could think about.” He looked away from her but she pressed on. “Something _did_ happen with Lexa, and I thought there was something there, too. There could have been. But she died before I got to find out.” Her tone was sad and the tears she tried to earlier made their appearance. “I’m sorry,” her voice was tight and Bellamy turned to look at her. 

“Hey, Clarke, don’t,” he immediately went to her, taking her face in his hands and wiping at her tears with his thumbs. His hands were warm and she leaned into them. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

Clarke nodded and sniffed. “You too,” she mumbled. “I just need some time.” Her voice was barely above a whisper that time. Bellamy nodded, bringing her into his arms and hugged her tightly. 

The next morning, Bellamy woke up with a raging headache. Clarke offered him an out but he refused and insisted he still go with her on her _little outing_ for this plant she so desperately needed. He took a gun and some extra rounds and shoved them into his pocket. When they were ready to go, he followed her out into the woods. He was uncomfortable with this whole situation, but he chose not to tell Clarke about it. He knew she’d only send him back if he voiced his concerns. He worried about what might happen if Valkyrie decided she wanted to tie up any loose ends from that day in the capitol, but it had been three weeks and a part of him hoped that she had forgotten all about Clarke. 

It took the better part of the morning to even find _one_ plant, which annoyed him. “How much of this stuff do you need?” He asked Clarke.

“Enough to last a while,” she answered, sounding just as annoyed as he did. “We just have to keep looking.”

After another hour, Clarke found a bunch and started to collect them into her pack. When she was nearly finished, she heard what sounded like running water.

“Do you hear that?” she asked Bellamy. He tilted his head slightly to listen and his eyes widened at the sound.

“Water?” he grinned at her. 

Clarke knew what this meant. It wasn’t far from camp and people could actually _bathe_. Not that they didn’t at camp, but this would be so much easier for them. They made their way toward the water and saw a river. It ended in a lake that was so clear, Clarke could see the bottom. There were fish and rocks and no giant snake monsters to speak of. She turned to Bellamy, who was in the middle of taking off his shirt.

“What are you doing?!” she asked, horrified.

“Taking a dip, Princess. You should come, too. Relax for a few minutes, will you?” He shoved his pants off and Clarke couldn’t help but stare. She had seen him shirtless before, _everybody_ had, but he was now standing in ark issued boxer shorts and walking toward the end of the lake. He knelt down to test the temperature and looked up with a wide grin on his face. “It’s warm.” 

Clarke didn’t need to be told twice. She put her pack down near Bellamy’s clothes and stripped down her bra and panties. She blushed furiously when she saw Bellamy’s eyes take her in. “What are you staring at?” she asked, wanting to cover herself up.

“Hm? What? Nothing,” Bellamy’s cheeks flushed and Clarke couldn’t help but laugh. With a mischievous grin in place, he walked over to her and flung her over his shoulder. 

With a shriek, Clarke stared hitting back. “Bellamy! Put me down!” 

“Whatever you say, Princess,” he laughed, and tossed her into the lake. 

When Clarke surfaced, she glared at Bellamy, who was still laughed. She splashed water at him, which got him moving. He went in after her and the two started splashing each other like they were kids. Their laughter echoed in the clearing around them and for a little while, they forgot all about Valkyrie and grounders.


	6. Chapter 6

When Clarke and Bellamy got out of the lake, they sat in the sun, hoping to give their undergarments a chance to dry off before heading back to camp. Clarke had her kneed hugged tightly to her chest, her skin slightly flushed with embarrassment. Bellamy kept peeking over at her when she wasn’t looking and finding himself moving closer to her.

“Clarke,” he said quietly. She turned to look at him and jumped a little when she saw how close he was.

“What?” she pulled her knees closer and toward him so he could see her face and legs. It didn’t stop his eyes from wandering and she blushed again. “Bellamy?” His eyes snapped up to hers and he gave her a crooked grin. _The_ crooked grin. The one that made her shiver and heat pooled in her stomach. Bellamy looked concerned.

“Are you cold?” he asked, automatically reaching for his shirt to hand to her. She shook her head. 

“You make me nervous,” she admitted. His face screwed up in confusion and she bit the corner of her lip. 

“I what? Nervous?” He wasn't sure if he honestly believed that. Clarke nodded. “Why?” 

“Sometimes… when you look at me, I feel…” she shrugged. “I don’t know. Warm.”

Bellamy’s confusion gave way to that stupid grin again and Clarke swallowed hard. He closed the distance between them pretty quickly then, putting a hand on the back of her hand and pulling her into him. Clarke sighed just before Bellamy’s lips closed over hers. Her legs slid down and stretched away from her as her hands reached up to tangle in his hair. “Clarke,” Bellamy whispered, before pushing the kiss deeper. His free hand slid around to the small of her back and pulled her into his lap. Clarke grumbled, wiggling around trying to get comfortable, which made Bellamy incredibly _un_ comfortable. He groaned into her mouth, which sent heat pooling to her stomach. 

“Bellamy,” she whispered in a way that made Bellamy tighten his grip around her. His hand slid down from her back to her leg, pulling it over his lap so she was straddling him. Her hips rocked down against his and something snapped. He wrapped his arm around her again and started to push her over onto her back. She gasped as she looked up at him, her legs wrapping around his waist. He absentmindedly brushed her bottom lip with his thumb and he smiled at her. 

“You’re so beautiful, Clarke,” his voice was soft, deep, and Clarke could feel goosebumps pop up all over her body. Her cheeks turned pink and she bit her lip again. He leaned down to kiss her again, softly at first, but Clarke nipped at his bottom lip and he growled, his tongue slipping past her lips. His hand slid down to her waist, resting at the curve of her hip, his fingers digging in slightly. She moaned softly, bumping his hips with hers, urging him on. 

“Bell, please,” Clarke sighed against his lips, the use of his nickname made his heart thump against his chest.

“Please _what_ , Princess?” he teased, kissing his way down her neck. 

“I want you to touch me,” she pleaded. 

Bellamy groaned against her neck before one of his hands slid down her stomach and slid between her thighs. Clarke pushed into his hand, her breath shortening. His fingers pushed past the waistband of her panties and rubbed slow circles against her. One of Clarke’s hands flew to her mouth, muffling a moan. Bellamy propped himself on his elbow and pulled her hand again. 

“I want to hear you,” he told her, his voice tight. 

Clarke moaned again and Bellamy groaned, sliding a finger inside her. It wasn’t like this with Finn. _Finn._ Clarke felt tears prickle behind her eyes and she tried to blind them away before Bellamy saw, but he stopped, looking down at her concerned.

“What? What’s wrong?” his eyes were wild, frantic, as they searched her face.

“I…” she shook her head but then a sob she hadn’t been expected came out. “I can’t do this right now, I’m sorry.” 

As frustrated as he was, Bellamy nodded, pulling himself off of her. “Are you okay?” he helped her up into a sitting position, even though his arousal was making him uncomfortable. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Bellamy, I’m so-“ he was shaking his head, but she pressed on. “I’m sorry. I thought I was ready.”

“Clarke, it’s fine, okay? You don’t have to apologize.” She nodded and wiped at her tears, grabbing her pants from the pile of clothes they had left and slid them over her legs. She pulled herself up into a standing position to put them on and then reached for her shirt. Bellamy cleared his throat and shifted away from her. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I just, um, give me a couple minutes,” he said, hunching his shoulders. She came around to the front of him and blinked.

“Oh,” she whispered, feeling herself blush _again_. “I’ll let you take care of that.” her voice was soft and she quietly picked up her stuff and headed back to the tree line. She tried not to watch Bellamy, but she could see him, giving himself some relief. Her stomach clenched when she heard him say her name and then a few seconds later, he got dressed and joined her. 

“Ready?” he asked, his eyes averted from hers. She nodded and they made their way back to camp.

For days after that, Clarke and Bellamy avoided making eye contact with each other. She told the others about the lake and they often went in groups of five or six, her with one group and Bellamy with another. The group was more than excited to be able to bathe and actually have a little bit of fun. They deserved it. Some of the adults even came along, as well. Bellamy and Clarke didn’t talk about what happened, but they were amicable enough so the others didn’t even notice that someone was up. 

One night, when Clarke was having a particularly hard time falling asleep, she thought about that day at the lake. She thought about how Bellamy looked at her, touched her, and she felt herself getting turned on. Chewing her lip, she unbuttoned her pants and pushed them down, sliding her hand into her panties. She wasn’t exactly ready for him to touch her, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t give herself some release. Soon enough, she was gasping softly, trying to keep quiet so the others wouldn’t hear her. She could feel her orgasm coming and her fingers moved against herself faster. When she came, Bellamy’s name was on her lips. 

“Clarke?” Shit! It was Bellamy! 

Clarke scrambled and pulled her pants up, moving into a seated position. “Yeah?” She asked, her breath still short, as she tried to maintain herself. Bellamy came in, looking worried.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his brow furrowed.

“Mhm,” Clarke nodded. “I’m fine.” She could feel her ears heating up and hoped Bellamy wouldn’t notice. 

“I heard… something,” he said, looking around.

“Um, like what?” she asked as innocently as possible. 

“My name?” He tilted his head to the side and really got a look at the state of her bed and her hair. He also noticed her breathing was a little erratic. A slow grin spread across his face. “Clarke, were you…?”

“No!” she pulled the blanket up around her waist and groaned. “Yes.” Bellamy laughed.

“Wow.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, if you need a hand next time,” he wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively before running out when Clarke threw a pillow at him. 

Clarke stopped having nightmares sometime after that. She only knew because Jasper brought it up one morning, seemingly happy about the change. 

“No more nightmares, Clarke?” he grinned widely.

“What?” Clarke was confused.

“Haven’t heard you crying the last couple nights. Got the best sleep I’ve had in weeks,” he laughed.

Clarke shoved him but she was more than happy about the fact that her nightmares seemed to stop. She felt better rested, too, but she hadn’t really thought about it too much. She found Bellamy after he relieved Miller's shift at the gate.

“Hey,” she greeted, leaning against the gate.

“Hey,” he nodded, not looking at her. She had stopped taking this so personally. He was on duty and he took it very seriously. 

“Jasper said I stopped having nightmares,” Clarke told him, picking at a stray thread in her sleeve. Bellamy turned to her, his eyes widened slightly.

“Really? That’s great, Clarke,” he smiled. God, Clarke hadn’t felt butterflies in a long time but that’s what she felt whenever Bellamy smiled at her. 

“So I was thinking we should celebrate,” she suggested, pushing away from the gate and standing closer to Bellamy. 

“Yeah? How?” he wasn’t paying attention to her again. Clarke grabbed his collar and pulled him to look at her. “Clarke, what –“ She tugged him down and kissed him hard. If he weren’t on duty right now, he’d drag her to his tent and have his way with her, but he was. “Clarke, I’m on duty,” he muttered against her lips. 

“I don’t care,” she whispered, pressing her body into his. He dropped his gun so it was hanging off the strap on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. He deepened the kiss and lifted her slightly. Her legs came up around his waist and she gasped when she felt his erection though his pants. “Already?” she asked, pulling away and grinning. 

“It happens a lot when you’re around,” he told her. “I think about that day I almost walked in on you,” he chuckled. Clarke blushed and pressed her lips into the crook of his neck. “I want to hear you say my name like that again,” he whispered. 

Clarke nodded. “Come to my tent later,” she told him. She kissed him again, and again, and again because she couldn’t help herself, before wriggling out of his arms. And just like that, she disappeared inside the gate, leaving Bellamy unsatisfied and uncomfortable, _again_.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any of these characters. I just like writing about them.


End file.
